Senimelia Druadrua
An Ode to Her:
We’ve known Ruby and Jess a long time, since childhood, really. Part of our friendship has been shaped by exploring our Pasifika roots together, and by the kind of conversations that always go deeper than the surface. Over the years, we’ve watched Ruby and Jess navigate their own unique relationship to culture, identity, and belonging.
Their story is one we’ve always held close. Maybe because we saw so much of our own journey in it. And maybe because of one woman who sits at the centre of it all: Grandma Senimelia Druadrua also known as Amah.
Eight years ago, we took photos of some of the women in their family, not really knowing just how special that moment would become. Looking back, we weren’t ready to tell the story the way it deserved to be told. Now, with clarity and purpose, we’re returning to that moment.
As we launch our new series An Ode to Her, we’re sharing stories of the women whose hands, hearts, and histories have shaped generations. And to begin, we’re sitting down with Ruby and Jess to talk about Amah, the woman who shaped them as girls, grounded them as women, and continues to guide them now as mothers of their own.
How did your mixed heritage shape your sense of identity growing up?
Ruby: When I was younger, a part of me struggled with feeling a total sense of belonging to any particular culture, being Pasifika and Caucasian wasn’t common where we lived. But as I got older, I saw how beautiful it was to forge my own sense of identity from the cultures I come from: Tonga, Fiji, China, New Zealand, and Scotland. I see beauty in each of the cultures my parents and grandparents grew up in and the stories from their childhoods and lives—I feel most authentic when I understand collectively they are my heritage.
Jess: We were always encouraged to embrace our uniqueness so naturally I was always proud to share where our family came from. Our life was a mix, Western at home, Pasifika at Amah’s. I’ve come to realise you don’t have to pick a side, you can simply delight in being both.
Has pride in your cultural identity always been part of your story, or has that pride had to be built along the way?
Ruby: As a child, because I felt different to my friends, it took a while for me to understand how precious my diverse heritage was and is. Pride in my mixed ethnicity grew as I became more acquainted with my extended family and their stories. Once you hear the meaning behind customs in your family line and the incredible stories of your grandparents and family beyond them, it’s hard not to feel pride to be connected and a descendant from such incredible people.
Jess: I don’t think I fully understood what it meant to be mixed race until middle school. I remember feeling proud of being part Pasifika, of being my dad’s daughter, but I didn’t really understand why until I was older. Back then, I think I was proud mostly because my skin was a little browner than most of my friends’. But now? I’m proud because of Amah, because of the stories she shares about our family, the food she cooks with so much love, and the way she wears her Fijian heritage with quiet pride. I’m proud to be my dad’s daughter, to know where he came from and how his story shaped the man he is. I’m proud to be a part of that.
Now as mothers, what does carrying culture forward look like in your everyday lives?
Ruby: When I fell pregnant with my firstborn, I had an overwhelming pull to explore my roots more and somehow incorporate them into my son’s life. We have done things like given him a Tongan middle name (same as my dad's) and planned certain celebrations like his first birthday around Pasifika customs I resonated with. I have a dream to speak more Tongan and Fijian with them. Visiting the homelands on both sides will become more important as they get older. I’m stoked to explore my roots more for them but also for myself.
Jess: Like Ruby, I have a strong desire to not only learn more about Amah's story and where dad grew up, but to show and teach Beauden it too. I’ve noticed that as our family becomes more shaped by modern life and Western influences, each generation tends to lose or forget bits of our culture, but I don't want that for my kids. I want them to know what I know, and more.
Amah is such an important figure in both your lives. What did she teach you, in ways both spoken and unspoken?
Ruby: Amah is one of my greatest heroes and very special to me. She will forever represent generosity, kindness, humility, and strength. As a single mother, away from her family, she persevered out of necessity and determination to let her children have as many opportunities as they could, but much of how she has lived could have easily looked different had she not relied so heavily on Jesus and prayer. She’s amazing! I think of her story very often, especially now as a mum, and still feel I have so much more to learn from her.
Jess: Amah is amazing, I often find myself praying to be like her when I’m a grandma! She has so many wonderful characteristics that I know have been sharpened and strengthened throughout her life. I admire the way she loves God, not just in her long mealtime prayers or the blessings she speaks over us, but in the quiet ways too. In her words, her advice, the way she lives, I know she prays for us even when we don’t see it.
She’s also taught me how beautiful a ‘slow’ life can be, compared to the fast paced, hustle I seem to find myself in all the time. She loves gardening, cooking, reading and she loves spending time with her family. I always yearn for a slow paced life like that, and I think part of it is because of how she lives, and the joy that comes with it.
How do you hope to carry forward the parts of her story that shaped you both?
Ruby: There are parts of me that I feel have been heavily influenced by Amah such as my eagerness to pray boldly, to cook nourishing foods, value a slow yet active lifestyle and to be a warm yet strong mother who values things like the library and memorising scriptures.
Jess: I hope to love and care for my family like she does one day. She has so many children and grandchildren, yet I have never thought she loved one more than the other. She has experienced some horrible things in her lifetime, yet she remains strong in her faith and has always chosen the good of her family over herself. I hope one day my kids will see, know and hear of her resilience, strength, selflessness and faithfulness and liken it to how I am as a mother. She is also an incredible hostess, the kind who feeds you like family, I’m hoping to master that magic one day, one shared plate at a time.
What do you understand now about Amah’s role that you maybe didn’t see when you were younger?
Ruby: Matriarchs carry a lot, especially when it comes to worrying about their children. And when the family’s full of strong personalities (like ours), that weight can get pretty heavy. But Amah only speaks fondly of the time she had with her children when they were young. She is so grateful and has always carried a joy beyond her circumstances. I love that about her.
Jess: Rubes said it perfectly.
What role does Amah play today in keeping culture alive within your family?
Ruby: Today, she gathers her family for meals and celebrations and tells a lot of stories to her grandkids (we definitely hear a lot of the goss that perhaps her own children don’t know). Her 80th is coming up this year and she has chosen the theme Pasifika. All our extended family are coming. She has such a deep love for family and beautifully walks the line of keeping her Pasifika and Chinese culture alive through who she is, while also embracing the new customs/ways of living her children have embraced through where they have lived or the families they have married into. She is not rigid but continues to love and uphold the parts of her culture that matter a lot to her, leaving room for new generations to find their own cultural identities—all her grandchildren are also mixed heritage.
Jess: I couldn’t have said it better, Amah really is the heart of our family.